Sunday, October 21, 2012
Kid Memory
I
remember crackhead that live next door they would cook it up and sell
it out the house. I remember when they hide in the daytime and come out
at the night time and you could smell it.I also think hoes came in the
house and it was bad at all times because the cops would show up and
they weren't there but at night it would be crazy no lie.plus there was
enough crackhead were the most and they were gang bangers on the street
and it was bad at the moment. My parents would try to run them out
always and not sure if they come back either.When i was little i use to
play outside and see people people going in and out that house and i ask
my mother what that was and she said it was a crackhead house and i
also seen a lot of hoes and i remember one of them saying i got my candy
rock and my mother like he the hell out of here now.My father told them
to get out of there here to and try to keep the neighbor hood good and
not all hood but it still happen so it still it bad a nieghbor and we
had it clean up and not all bad at all.
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Its a kind of good story but it needs to be re-read and correct all the grammar and spelling.
ReplyDeletemy opinion on this story is not the best story i have read. The story talks about the same thing in every sentence. Threw the whole story they talked about crack heads and hoes. he/she should talk about what they did, not what other people did. This story made me feel like you didn't put enough effort into the story.
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ReplyDeleteI would also hate living next to a crack head and a house that hoes always go in. As long as they wouldn't bother me though i don't care. I don't think much effort was put into this story. This story made me feel like you didn't go over it and correct your mistakes.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion I know what the owner is trying to say in this story. But it's stuck on the same sentence through out the whole story, also it's need to be check for mistakes and need's to add more information. I also think this tas put together at the last second, but some work is better Then None. :]
ReplyDeleteThis story was pretty cool. It goes into depth and explains your neighborhood, and thats pretty good with describing. I live in a neighborhood where that isn't noticeable, like you know thats drugs and prostitution is around but it's not just out there and I hate it. So I could only imagine how horrible it would be to live with that around. Especially for your parents, so I understand why your patents would go through that to try and keep you away from that. The grammar and the sentence structure is, not so well. Could be way better. Once that gets fixed, this would be an nice story.
ReplyDeleteCorrect your grammar, also correct your punctuation. If you do these, then it will be a pretty good story.
ReplyDeleteThe story is good but it could be better with just a little more work. I can tell the person just put it together at the last minute. The grammar and the sentence structure needs some work. I understand what the writer is trying to get across, but it seems like he repeats often. The writer should re-read and do some corrections, maybe add a little more and it will good.
ReplyDeleteThe story-teller needs to fix a lot of spelling errors. I think they should've re-read the story to themselves so they know what it sounds like. There were a lot of repeats and grammatical errors. The story could've been a lot better if they were more detailed. The writer also didn't take the time to fix the punctuation.
ReplyDeleteI think your story was with good detail, your did well with describing. I think that your grammar and error spellings need to be a little better. If you put better punctuation then the story would make a little bit of more sense other than that I think your story is great. I would even like to know what happened to now? What did you learn from that memory? Did you succeed in staying away from drugs? It would be great to see a writing explaining how far you have come.
ReplyDeletethis story was very different it was and interesting. It really talked about whats going on in the rough neighborhoods and stuff but you really need to correct your grammar and punctuation and not sound like you were living in that house
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